So I should really be doing my assignment right now, but today.. I'm definitely having the mood to express my feelings.. I've always been wondering if it is actually possible to shed any tears when someone or group of people hold a surprise birthday party for you and makes u feel like crying right when they holding birthday cake in front of you while singing the birthday song. Oh well... so it's my 21st birthday today.. I've always been thinking of how it's gonna be celebrated and I'm not even surprised that I ended up celebrating my birthday doing assignments, which is the same as last few years. I even asked few of friends out for gathering so that I don't have to celebrate my birthday alone again this year, but I decided to "postpone" it since few of them aren't available whether they are not in the state or having other business that day.. not that we are not gonna have fun together and I know that we gonna enjoy each other's company..But.. I thought.. what's the point for asking people out for celebrating if it actually makes you feet more "alone"..? Well.. Few of my friends did ask me out to celebrate and have a good time on my birthday.. but oh well, I had to turn them down and.. to be honest.. It was because of assignments again.. and I keep reminding myself that having birthday doesn't give me the excuse to abandon my study and time..
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I was totally fine to have celebrated my birthday without "celebrating" since that's how I've always been "celebrating" my birthday.. However, my brother's girlfriend actually came over my place today bringing tons of food and few slices of cake for me after finding out I'm not able to go out and have fun on my birthday but instead.. staying at home having assignments to keep me company..on my 21st birthday.. And I wasn't even close enough with my brother's girlfriend.. But I'm still very glad that she made the effort to do all these things for me, whether she's doing for the sake of sincerity or not. She even made my family to sing birthday song to me via webcam.. and through the video, I saw all my family members together at the time... and I haven't been together with my family members for not a period that I could remember, not even when I was living in the same house with them... At that moment, I did feel like crying..This might not be an "awesome" way to celebrate 21st birthday, but for the first time.. I truly understand the meaning of birthday, and that means having your beloved ones being grateful to have you born in this world.
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