Cold? nahhh

So recently, I've discovered that Im the type of person that easily get bored..(i thnk i've mentioned this be4) anyway, I've also realized my lack of feelings in certain stuffs.. it's nt that im cold blooded or sumthin, it's just dat I dun feel as much for certain thngs compared with others.. mayb it depends on the subject(only with thngs that im strongly interested)..or else.. hmm.. guess Im jz dat kinda person :P

friendship

So I've been thnking about this recently..(yes, i have mani projects to do yet im thnking abt other stuffs..): mani ppl have been talking abt:"yeahhh, it's normal u guys arent as close anymore compared to last time, it's normal that ppl changed and it's also perfectly normal if u guys just stopped being friends gradually". But, it's not fine with me, I dont wanna just sit and talked abt bunch of those stuff rather than taking actions before it's too late.. and I surely dont wanna thnk back in future that I kinda miss those friends, but.. what to do~ we havent been in touch for years while knowing that you werent trying ur best to keep the friendship going.. it sucks!!

always stay strong

today, I've jz found out that my fren has a few serious issues.. 1st her agents threatening her by asking to pay sum ads money or else she wud have to move out, 2nd, she doesnt have a proper laptop and line for working for sch projects(this week is crucial cz of folio submission on nex week, so if she moves out, wud be hard for her to concentrate on study) and lastly her parents got divorce few days ago so she doesnt wanna let them know abt her conditions..As a friend, I really hope things would work out for her D:however, thes have also taught me to always stay strong and positive..

my current mental state

Im not in gud condition mentally.. well, actually physically too.. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// anyway, I nida submit alot of stuffs on next week and now Im totally freaked out cz of .. well.. I hvnt really done much thngs.. plus, I have realized that I lost sumthing important as an designer/artist(whatever you cal that) and even as human being.. which was I had forgotten how to dream D: until ytd I noticed I forgot how to draw underwater world which everyone used to draw since kindergarten/primary school.. and this made me realized that how could I ever forgot something as important?? yes, my techniques have improved thru all thes years, but it's just... goshhhh.. and I've been eating alot recently..(yess, we're talking abt A LOT) aissshhhh, hope i could recover as soon as possible.. no!!! I have to overcome thes issues !! ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// anyway, I've been planning that I would really love to further my study in new york after graduate my degree cz I don't wanna stay at the same few countries all the time, I wanna see and explore more in many different countries!! :) ........here am i , speaking abt new york and not finishing my projects.. god bless me /.\

super awkward!

today..was a really awkward day.. I don't really like to mention it.. but, I felt lik i shud so im jz gonna quickly go through it :| *jz came back and havnt even bathed yet* so anyway, everyone was invited to workshop bar today and I wasnt planning to go, really.. but ther was this gurl, luna who asked me to go.. So I thought I should just quickly drop by at the bar and return to home for dinner..I have also asked another gurl,rachel, to come along with me later to the bar..(incase I've got nobody else to talk with in the bar, atleast I can chat with her) and she was okay with it..Then, luna told me she was going to meet up with few friends 1st before meeting up with me later at the bar.. So I said it was fine and I went to the bar with rachel 1st and we were sitting with a group of unknown people.. which was awkward enough (though I managed to chat with one of them)... I felt lik wanna go back to home and so I asked rachel along since she was also bored with the situation.. So we walked out of the bar and I walked her back to her accommodation since it was the same road with my bus stop.. After sending rachel back, I figured I should not just leave Luna's case aside since I sort of promised her that I would go to the bar and catch up with her, which I did just that I didn't wait for her..I have also called Summer for Luna's numbers, gues what.. she didn't have her frikkin numbers.. Suddenly, I decided to drop by the bar again in case she was there and so I could inform her first before going back or I could even inform Ian who didnt realize I was there earlier(different table), to help me pass my message to Luna.. trust me, I was rushing back to the bar and the 1st thing I did was went through the bar and checked if Luna was there.. naturally, she wasnt.. So, I then went to find Ian.. and he was like " Heyyy!! seen!! You're here!!"then almost everyone else at the table was staring at me in that moment.. and I just really wanted to quickly tell him what I was going to say.. and guess what, I looked like someone who was being chased by animal or sumthing.. I was breathing so hard(since I was rushing), I couldnt talk properly especially in such a crowded place with music playin whatsoever.. Then, Ian got out of his sit and suggested that we should go outside so that he could hear properly.. So we went outside(just to talk about Luna's case) and he was like " no worries!! yeahhh!! I will tell her about it!! If you come back, you should sit together with us!" << (sumthin lik that..I, then said I was unable to join them cz I had to go back for dinner) which left me into a really awkward situation.. it was like I brought "awkwardness" to a whole new level.. That was another reason why I really didn't feel like going back.. Then, I was walking back alone to train station instead of bus stop and trapped myself in embarrassment <<(awkwardness overloaded, I also felt guilty for rachel who might felt I was using her which was what I intended in the 1st place) until I post this into blog to remind my future-self to stay away from this kind of situation anymore.. Im not even sure If I have the courage not to think abt this case the next time I go the workshop bar..I should not have even went to the bar today in the 1st place whatsoever!things just werent right for me lately!!